It started with my cycle (as I mentioned in the last post) and just hasn't pissed off. This time it's appeared as a massive migraine headache. Along with the pounding headache; vertigo and nausea have come back to visit. Yesterday they hung around all day.
I have taken so many panadol, you know those huge bulk packs - all gone. The Neurologist has warned me not to take too many over a long period of time but I just don't know what to do to get through each day. I try to hold off as long as I can. The sad thing is they do nothing, My theory is that they can't hurt.
I'm allergic to codeine, it gives me asthma but I've had to pop a few Panadine and Mersyndol as well just to get some relief. The headache is worse than the asthma at this point!
On Sunday we had a few friends coming over, the same group we have now rescheduled twice due to my health issues. I was so unwell but I just couldn't cancel again. So, I decided to drink. Even filled with pain killers, I was still in bits I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to add wine to the equation. Actually, I do know ;
1. I just didn't want to let anyone down or be a party pooper
2. There was no way I was going to be able to get through it unaided.
3. I just wanted to be normal, I just needed the pain to go away for a moment so I could relax and have fun.
It worked for about three hours but the next day was hell. I threw up all day and my head punished me for my stupidity by hammering into my skull and sending piercing daggers behind my eyes. Stupido!
On Tuesday I got some acupuncture/massage with a practitioner I haven't seen before. Giving my medical history was lengthy and depressing. Hearing it out loud again I just couldn't believe what my body had put up with in the past 6 months. She seemed very concerned that in my state I was planning to have a transfer in a few weeks.
She has now made ME very concerned.
If I do get pregnant will it be hell on earth for 9 months? What if I am not well enough to do this? What if I am too unwell to be a mother? I can't even look after myself when I'm like this and I don't know how long it will last.
For the past 12 days, I have had to force myself to engage in life. I force myself to get up, get dressed & put make up on even if I can't go out. I went out yesterday for lunch with a friend, but felt like I was going to pass out with the crazy rollercoaster in my head. The remainder of the day was spent lying down. I pretend to myself and other people that I'm ok. I get sick of saying I'm not well. I've missed so many functions, parties, events thanks to my head and my ovaries!
I was always so active before this, I couldn't sit still and hated doing nothing. My career was always so full on, that's the way I liked it. Things are so different now, when I look back it's like I'm reflecting on someone else's life. It seems so far removed from my own reality.
Charlie isn't sleeping. He is so stressed with all of this. I had a turn when he got home last night. I couldn't move for an hour after it. I had another one this morning over breakfast. I try to reassure him I'm ok, but I'm not. I haven't had one for a good few weeks now, we keep hoping that each one is the last one.
The worst thing is I can't get any treatment for this. Nothing has helped me so far; drugs, acupuncture, massage, chiropractic, chinese herbs, naturopaths. I'm giving a new therapist a try on Monday, he is some type of energy practitioner who is also a chiropractor and reflexologist. My in-laws swear by his magical powers. So, I shall keep you posted.
That's all from the couch for now.
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